


A breath of luck

by Squidbitch



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Past Sexual Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-06-27 21:44:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15693969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squidbitch/pseuds/Squidbitch
Summary: Sometimes Juno talks about it.





	A breath of luck

It doesn't happen often.

 

But it does happen, and the fact that it does is a problem in itself.

 

The first time it happens Peter had just come back from a heist a few galaxies away, and he lays in bed behind Juno. They sleep like that until morning, when Peter rubs at tender spots in his hands. When Juno wakes up, Peter gives him a soft smile, and Juno seems a bit delighted to see him, but there's something under it. Something not well.

 

_Ah,_ Peter thinks sadly, _it's going to be one of_ those _days._

 

It truly is a sad thing when Juno's worse days hit on the first day Peter was back. He used to think that maybe it was because Juno didn't want him there. That Peter was in some way a nuisance.

 

He talked to him about it once, and Juno shortly said that it basically doesn't have anything to do with it. Although a crass way of putting it, he was nonetheless happy that he wasn't impeding on Juno's life.

 

Peter puts a hand on Juno's jaw, and he immediately flinches away. He retracts his hand, and feels worry bubble up inside of him. There's fear in his eye flashing before he squeezes it shut. "Don't touch me today." He forces out.

 

"But Juno-"

 

" _Please._ " His voice cracks.

 

"Alright. If that's what you like."

 

Since they've been out of Miasma's tomb, Juno has never told Nureyev not to touch him. On some days he seems less welcome to it, but it's never been like this.

 

"Did I do something wrong?" He asks.

 

Juno shifts away, and looks exasperated. "No, of course not. I really don't feel like talking about this right now." He bites. "Could you leave me alone for two seconds?"

 

Peter sighs and gets up. "I love you, Juno. Even if you have a temper."

 

Juno squeezes his eye shut again, and pulls the blanket over his head. " _I don't have a temper."_ His voice sounds thick with emotion. It's startling to hear. He isn't much of a sobber, as he's told him.  Even this far into their relationship, Peter has only seen him cry a few times. Of course, Peter's cried even less, so there's not much room to judge.

 

"Juno." He says fondly as he sits down on the bed. "Are you okay?" It's a stupid question to ask, because of course Juno is going to lie.  And of course Peter is going to know that.

 

"Yeah." He says brokenly. "Just gimme a minute. Can I be alone?"

 

"Of course, love."

 

Peter exits the room, and makes his way to the kitchen. If he can't reach out to Juno with his hands he can reach out to Juno with food.  He's not really ever made anything, but as Juno says, he'll try anything once.

 

* * *

 

So he burns an egg to the pan. He really shouldn't be surprised. He didn't use any oil, and he hasn't made actual food since he lived with Mag. There's really been no reason that he couldn't do something else instead.

 

Juno walks into the kitchen, and he looks downright exhausted. Peter wants to wrap the poor thing in his arms, and hide him from the world. He wants to snuggle up to Juno in bed, and wrap his arms around him. Whisper sweet nothing in his ear, because he deserves to hear exactly how lovely he is.

 

He manages a weak smile, as he looks at Peter trying to scrub burnt egg from the pan.

 

"Here, let me help." He makes his way through, and puts some hot water with soap in it. "Let it soak for a while, dumbass. I guess there's some things even you can't do."

 

"I must admit, I never anticipated _wanting_ to cook. It's always seemed so... foolish."

 

Juno glances at him with his big beautiful eye that makes Peter's heart beat a little harder in his chest. He's becoming more and more familiar with the feeling that comes with looking and Juno Steel. He wants to kiss him, wants to run fingers across his arms, and press their foreheads together. Smile against his lips. His heart aches for his touch, but he knows Juno doesn't want that.

 

"Can I..." Juno takes a breath, and looks at the tile of his kitchen floor. His brow furrows as he forces out the words. "Talk-like-to you. About-this-this thing?"

 

For a moment it shocks him. Juno never talks about his experiences without a bit of prompting.

 

Immediately Juno takes it as a push away. "I'm sorry. Goddamn that was stupid of me to ask, right? You've got your own shit going on, you don't wanna hear about my stupid life-"

 

Peter almost takes his hand for comfort, but stops himself. "No, Juno, I would love to hear about anything you have to say.  You do have a lovely voice, darling." He clicks his tongue before he continues, and sees Juno's eye light up a bit. "But the couch would be better for a story, wouldn't it?"

 

"Uh-yeah. Sure."

 

So they sit on the sofa. Juno's legs criss crossed, and nervousness coating every movement he makes. "Nureyev, I-" He let's out a breath and draws his eyebrows together. Juno Steel. The lady who's known for his snarky comments and always knowing what to say. He really is having a hard time saying this one sentence. "Christ, I've never really said it out loud before." He takes a shaky breath. Long seconds pass them by. "Jack. The guy that took some papers from mom, and kind of ruined her life." Juno hugs himself, and looks at the fabric of the sofa.

 

Peter feels suspense inside of his chest. He isn't actually certain if he wants to know. If Juno is _this_ reluctant to tell him, does he really want to know? The answer is yes, absolutely.

 

"He-" Juno digs his fingers into the couch. "He did, like, stuff to me. Like touched me, and shit like that. I had a dream about him last night, and I felt so fucking powerless."

 

Peter's eyes are wide. All the air has left his body.

 

And he _hates._ Hates worse than he's even hated before, because how in the world could anyone be so absolutely _selfish?_ To do that sort of thing to a _child,_ to do it to anyone at all? What sort of monster could do such a thing. Peter wants to find this man, and cut way slivers of his skin and dip him in acid. He wants to throttle him with his own two hands. Wants to murder a man that he's never even seen, never even known. 

 

His teeth are clenched, and his face is distorted in anger. His nails dig into the couch. All he can think about is protecting who he loves. And even if it didn't happen recently, it e _ffected_ Juno recently.  It effects him enough that he can't stand to be touched today.  Peter Nureyev is going to _eviscerate_ that man. This is different from all the people Juno fights daily. They don't leave scars like that. Even if Peter has the desire to hurt those people, he's never felt such _disgust_ towards someone.

 

"Nureyev?" Juno croaks. Small, and nervous.

 

Peter swallows the ball in his throat. He doesn't know what to say for one of the first times in his life. What do you say to someone who's been dealing with a trauma like that for 38 years, and just now voiced it? What do you do? "I am," He's honestly shocked to hear how collected his voice sounds. "Very angry, Juno."

 

Juno spits out an, "I'm so-"

 

"Not your fault. Nothing to apologize for. It is _definitely_ not your fault."

 

Juno's face relaxes. A small smile rests on his face. He looks relieved. A few tears slip from his eye. "Sure." He sniffles. "Thanks."

 

He can hear a sob release from Juno's throat, and Peter dearly wants to hug him. But he can't, because that complete _slug-_ he cuts off the thought. There will be time for anger later. Now it is time for comfort.

 

Juno digs the palm of his hands into his eye, and shakes with the weight of his tears. "Yeah. Thanks a lot."


End file.
